Carrying the Memories of Ten Thousand Bitches

For some fetishists, life is a life of memories and regret.  Carrying the Memories of Ten Thousand Bitches in a figurative sense, relying on those memories when flesh is down and creating more when flesh is up, usually in the summer.  As for me, most of my regret is based around my high school years.  I had so many opportunities to worship some of the most beautiful mid eighties females on God’s green earth.

Right in the middle of the bible belt.  I was in choir class in high school, Michelle, she was just beautiful, shoulder length curly hair that really worked for her.  I remember sometimes seeing her smile and there was just a little smear of lipstick on her teeth.  One time our choir class had a get together at the choir teachers house.  His wife had the most beautiful feet I had ever seen.  Long pick toenails and everything.  Well about 5 of us were just kicking back and talking and Michelle was sitting behind me and eventually put her feet on my back.  I remember how warm they were.  But being the dumb shy idiot that I was, I pretended to get mad at her and threw her feet off of me in a huff.  So dumb.

I really liked her and regretted it so much, a couple of years ago, I found her on facebook and messaged her that I had a “huge crush on her feet in high school”.  Of course, she never messaged me back.  Ok, so now I’ve moved from shy to just awkward, lol.  I regret not making a move on her and 4 others.  One girl would always apologize in the library because her feet stank so bad.  I’m thinking “what if I would have offered her some money to smell them”.  I’ll never know how that would have turned out.

I would have gotten my ass kicked if I was as ballsy as I am now, as I was back then, tell you the truth.  Eventually, I just took these regrets and released them to the universe.  As for me, that was all that I could really do.  And come to peace with the fact that it probably wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

It’s rough though, because alot of us are deeply reflective anyway.  I feel like sometimes being a fetishist, compounds that 10x.  Sometiems regret is destructive, and that’s certainly not healthy.  Now, I am bolder just because I don’t want that potential memory of what could happen in my mind, turn into a regret.  And if she say’s no, well “hey, at least I tried”.  Maybe I was just programmed differently, I’m not sure.  Or some that hold on to regret for so long before letting it go, that the opposite path of that is even more anal retentive, haha.  Just some musings about it.  No Wiz doesn’t hold any significance, I just thought it would be a cool track to throw on in the middle of the mix.

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