Carrying the Memories of Ten Thousand Bitches
For some fetishists, life is a life of memories and regret. Carrying the Memories of Ten Thousand Bitches in a figurative sense, relying on those memories when flesh is down and creating more when flesh is up, usually in the summer. As for me, most of my regret is based around my high school years. I had so many opportunities to worship some of the most beautiful mid eighties females on God’s green earth.
Right in the middle of the bible belt. I was in choir class in high school, and this girl named Michelle, she was just beautiful, shoulder length curly hair that really worked for her. I remember sometimes seeing her smile and there was just a little smear of lipstick on her teeth. One time our choir class had a get together at the choir teachers house. His wife had the most beautiful feet I had ever seen, speaking about that day. Long pink toenails and everything. Well about 5 of us were just kicking back and talking and Michelle was sitting behind me and eventually put her feet on my back. I remember how warm they were. But being the dumb shy idiot that I was, I pretended to get mad at her and threw her feet off of me in a huff. So fucking dumb and something I regret to this day.
I really liked her and regretted it so much, a couple of years ago, I found her on facebook and messaged her that I had a “huge crush on her feet in high school”. Of course, she never messaged me back. Ok, so now I’ve moved from shy to just awkward, lol. I regret not making a move on her and about 10 other high schoolers like me, back in the day in fucking Oklahoma mind you. One girl would always apologize in the library because her feet stank so bad. IAhe was cute, blonde, lots of base to hide her acne i’m thinking “what if I would have offered her some money to smell them”. I’ll never know how that would have turned out.
One of my best friends sisters was a cheerleader and he said that he had told her about my foot fetish and she had said that she’d be happy to let me pay her to smell her feet after cheerleading practice. I never did it…
My counselor at vo tech, who always wore pantyhose and had long red toenails. I actually went into her office to see if I could switch counselors and had this big plan that I was going to explain to her it was because of her feet that I wanted to change counselors because of that and offer to smell them.
on and on and on.. Deep regret and I think that crux of it all, kinda looking back now in my mid fifties was that I denied myself those experiences because of my insecurities, so at the end of the day, I had to forgive myself for my earlier years in life.
I would have gotten my ass kicked if I was as ballsy as I am now vs as I was back then, tell you the truth. Eventually, I just took these regrets and released them to the universe. As for me, that was all that I could really do. And come to peace with the fact that it probably wasn’t meant to be in the first place.