Dear Fetishist, Please don’t be lonely

“Dear Fetishist Please don’t be lonely” is a product of everyone on talk radio talking about the “loneliness” epidemic lately and we are a little different than most when it comes to our proclivities, vs modern society aren’t we? Often times I speak to other foot fetishists from around the world and see that in lots of cases, we are likeminded peeps, the way we network, social circles, etc. If that rings true with me, I guess I just had a burden to be sharing this train of thought in my head. I’ve been there, and if I’ve worked through it, you will too. I don’t know you obliviously but maybe I can help in some way or something.

Especially with the holidays right around the corner and as much as we feel things, that’s why I want to take my time on this article.? It’s important and it’s not like perverts like us can surf on “web md” or something, trying to find out about us sexual deviants who “aren’t lonely during the holidays”, haha. So yah…

Since the pandemic, society has been brutal, for the most part. Look at me peeps, you know I never had these “episodes” until the pandemic began. Remember when I talked about that thing inside of me, knowing that things had forever changed in March 2020. Especially with war everywhere, Russia/Ukraine, Israel/Palestinians, India/Pakistan, etc, etc. To get the bad out of the way, I guess, if you’re in American or western cities, the “stopping at the intersection” bullshit by selfish drivers, etc. Selfishness is subconscious now, people don’t even know that they are doing it.

No one talks to each other anymore. Yet everyone is a “lonely wreck” apparently. ( at least in the u.s.). Did you know that the more you avoid people, the less empathetic you feel towards society as a whole? That’s powerful. Personally, idfk, I’ve only been on this planet since 1970, but when I was a kid, there were no school shootings, things were simpler. There was actual justice, or maybe I think that way because that was a world through the eyes of a child. When I got to school, here was the pledge of allegiance and we sang, civics were taught as was sexual education. We played “smear the queer” (hitting the “queer” with a soccer ball, and then they are the queer, etc.), and just hung out, basically. If I messed up, I knew my dad was going to beat the shit out of me, and I had a fear of that paddle, so I didn’t. There was much more “real time” between friends. If I wanted to go see my bestie, 15 streets over, I knew I was riding my bike and I called on a land line to let him know I was on the way. This was all “pre internet” mind you. None of that happens now, no connections like that now. That’s one reason from the past that might affect our subconscious with loneliness.

As far as me personally, the holidays have always made me horny, haha. I probably even beat off more. Maybe it’s the “wholesome” aspect of the holidays that gets my juices flowing, who knows. For some people though, the holidays is a “horror house” going 100 mph, down the highway. Mostly through some type of trauma. You have to dissociate what happened from then to now. I know it fucking sucks but separation from that trauma is key. If you are using that trauma as some sort of driving force to fuel that traumatic thought. You are subconsciously mindfucking yourself, for better or for worse. You’re getting too much interference with that moment than whatever is affecting you today, now. The end of that road is healing and forgiveness. This forgiveness includes forgiving yourself. Say that again, it’s profound, peeps. I sometimes get shit because I’m pretty open about loving God. Sometimes at 4 .m., he’s the only line available. Use it. Personally God has got me through so so much. Not to say that this will be instantaneous it’s part of the process. Ahh the holidays. The days where everything is “good” in the world.

When everything isn’t right in your world, yes that really sucks during the holidays. The holidays acts as some sort of emotional knife with this time of year thrown into the mix. Why not deal with that past trauma, if it is even trauma. That’s really what I have in my past that is a “cleaning project” in my mind. You are your circle. Seriously, if anyone is in your circle that brings you down all the time or constantly ridicules you. Is the human worth the trouble? The older i’ve gotten, the easier it is to judge who is right for me and who’s not right for me.

Sometimes it’s kinda painful, knowing whats wrong or right in your head. I ground, meditate when I can and try to establish some sort of relationship to this earth, because what’s happening with this planet right now is fucking stupid. Sorry but it’s true. With these questions though, I try to be self aware, be present. I usually opt to play with no emotion although I always fall for her, whoever she is.. Letting go is hard, especially with us. If it’s a love issue, do not fret, you’ll find her. I mean you gotta believe it. “Be vulnerable” they say. Trust is earned in my world. I cry enough, haha. I believe everyone can be better versions of themselves though, we as a species should always be striving.

Around the holidays, people that are prone to depression, of course, should stay away from “party favors” and/or alcohol.? I do really think that people should try and get into themselves as much as possible to see if you might be able to put some of these issues to bed without doing mental health stuff if you might be strapped for cash. Flipside, if you do have the cash, absolutely make an appointment if you can’t work things out on your own. I went to a college counselor in college because an ex girlfriend broke my heart. For like a month, i was in there crying like a baby each and every day and she helped with that.

(writing in progress).

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